Everything is different with a child. That's right. Everything. The apartment is less tidy. Diaper bucket and crib move in. Quiet nights, they move out. And what do we gain with a child? It's more than the warm happiness of a toothless smile. A first mom, dad. Having children is the best survival training, it toughens you up for crisis management. It teaches you how to make decisions quickly and well. Oh yes, and having children makes us completely human.
Mothers, fathers, you are worth a hell of a lot more in your job when you start again after parental leave!
The birth endurance test
Have you ever practiced pushing your limits? On a high ropes course or something? In training courses for managers? You can do that. However, what happens in the delivery room really dissolves boundaries. We (and I mean fathers and co-mothers too) have to physically endure what we could not have imagined and certainly not practiced. Sure, there are professionals there to support and help. Ultimately, however, it's like buying good advisors from the outside: a clever view from the outside, perhaps even precise instructions, but in the end we have to go through it ourselves. Trust in your own strength, even turn your head off sometimes, don't want to control everything and let things happen.
Does everything make sense for the woman who gave birth to the child? And now boundaries and efforts can no longer scare her?
What the men (and co-mothers) experience when they are in the delivery room is the ultimate training in another way. Because one team member has to do a huge job on their own. Staying there, supporting but not really being able to help, enduring how the task gets bigger and bigger. There is no turning back. We can't let this job go. It has to go.
Done. And the luck is perfect. Now please celebrate the result. With recognition for everyone who was there. Leave your own role as small as it was. Very clever and very likeable. Now and for the rest of your (professional) life.
Fresh mothers and fathers bring all of this with them when they return to work after parental leave. Yes, it is predominantly women who take a year's maternity leave. Men often leave it at two months. But things are slowly changing here too. Fathers are catching up from year to year in small 1 percent increments. In 2022, eight percent of men took parental leave as it was intended: sharing it with their partner and looking after the child for around six months. And another fact: the larger the city in which the emancipated man lives and the better his education, the greater the chance that he really wants to be a father.
An extended vacation is not what mothers and fathers experience with their newborn and baby in the first year.
On the contrary: the best training in leadership skills!
- Recognize what someone needs who does not clearly express their needs (diaper? food? carrying around?) In job translation: perceive customer signals, translate them into offers that fit exactly.
- Prioritize and prioritize again (postpone shopping because pants are full or stomach is empty). In job translation: cancel the meeting and carry on with what was left undone yesterday.
- Like and support change (the little one wants to spoon feed himself? Even if a lot goes wrong? Let him!) In job translation: Don't want to do everything yourself because you can do it faster and perhaps (even) better! Let others learn, trust them to do something. Put up with it if you don't get it right first time. It will go better the next time you try.
- Show a clear role (pediatrician appointments with vaccinations are not nice, but mom/dad will guide you through it). In job translation: Some decisions hurt, but are non-negotiable. Because they keep the business healthy.
Extend the list? At any time. Because the children are getting bigger. I'm just saying: parents' evening! Once you've experienced it, no long meeting can scare you.
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